


Make Believe

by Itsokaytopretend20



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Hurt, I think I started writing this because I was emotional after a loss, M/M, emotional smut, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:23:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsokaytopretend20/pseuds/Itsokaytopretend20
Summary: “Sepe...what are you doing?” He could only whisper, his voice was stolen from him.Time froze still and shrunk into one moment when Sebastian answered with a feeble voice, shaking and fragile like glass.“I don't know...”





	Make Believe

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally an idea I came up with in my group chat after I listened to a song called All The Same, which is the inspiration song for this story. I'm gonna include a playlist of songs I highly recommend listening to to get the vibe of this story. 
> 
> I've had this story in the works for a couple of months but ofc my ass can't get anything done under like 6 months, so here it finally is! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I'll link the playlist here- https://www.youtube.com/playlist list=PLpEBwik0wPyocpYmObxAQwyJjQDP-1EI8
> 
> p.s- Also, you'll notice I refer to Sepe's gf as "Ella" in this story and I will refer to her as that in my other stories because I don't want to share his actual gf's name for her privacy
> 
> This is a work of fiction- Please keep this away from the eyes of those mentioned in this story, and if you so happen to be those people please go away now.

It was those sparing glances, those accidental touches, the fake smiles and laughs that were as fragile as glass that hurt the most. It was pretending to be okay, pretending to act like nothing happened that made the scars burn even more. It was destined to end, a puzzle designed to have a missing piece. They both knew, they both accepted it, but that didn't make it any better. It hurt all the same.

 

He was with her now; that ghostly apparition that haunted Teuvo's dreams. The face of the woman who stole Sebastian's heart, the woman who he could give his love to instead. The woman who drained the color out of his world.

 

When their eyes met, he was reminded of everything. Of the times they fought, the times they laughed, celebrated, cried. The times they sat on the couch playing video games for hours, talking into the morning. Of the times tangled in each other's bodies under the covers, pulsing against each other in the darkness of the night. Everything that just didn't matter in the end.

 

Glass shattered every time he spoke. Every time Teuvo heard his voice echoing in the halls, reverberating around the arena after he won first star, or in his ear after a goal celebration. It would crack just a little bit more, exposing the fragile skin underneath, threatening to be unveiled and rip off the hardened scab he worked so hard to build.

 

Teuvo was a smoker trying to quit and Sebastian was the pack of cigarettes on the counter, calling out his name with a slow crumbling ember. He was a force of nature. A violent hurricane. Thrashing around in his head, drenching him in bitter rain. But he was also a slow string of smoke, rising lazily from a blackened ashtray, swirling around his nose and enticing him to crumble in and reach out, breaking the hardened resolve. He was his weakness. A weakness Teuvo wasn't strong enough to withhold, a weakness that allowed every shot taken to go in. He was the shiny penny on the side of the road a child refused to ignore. He was his caffeine and nicotine.

 

Nothing made it easier. Winning helped, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't take Sebastian into his hotel room anymore, bubbling with laughter in the haze of booze and victory and stumble unto the bed, staring at each other until both went silent and drew closer to each other until one made the move. He couldn't marvel at the Finn's broken face, hair disheveled and face red and sweaty as they struggled to stay quiet as their bodies moved with each other on the silky blankets. He couldn't watch that perfect body make its way to the bathroom to take a shower for a whole hour afterwards. Only doing it to piss Teuvo off even more so he would go in there to get him out, only to be dragged in and proceed to fog up the bathroom even more. That was all just smoke in the wind now.

 

What was worse was having to pretend. Having to joke around with each other and act “like themselves” so no one would have any suspicions. It was worse enough as it was, trying to deal with the secret on their own, and trying to bury that secret too. Someone finding out would make the destruction even more widespread and lethal, possibly killing them both. So fake laughs and dry jokes would have to do for now, no matter how much it hurt.

 

They hadn't talked about it since. It had only been three months. It felt like three years. One day it was here, the next it was gone. A year and a half of memories gone in the blink of an eye. Teuvo could look, but not touch. They agreed, this was how it was meant to be. So how was it fair that Teuvo was struggling to keep his head above water, while Sebastian already settled in with this new girl as if it were nothing? As if what they had, their friendship, their love, was nothing more than another page to turn. Was that all it was?

 

A dark and stormy night in early April, rain coming down all day and morphing into thunderstorms at night. A rare break in the hectic push for the playoffs, everyone's nerves were high strung. It was true crunch time and just about everyone's brains were running on adrenaline and bad sleep. Another two day road trip was coming up, this was the only day to rest. Teuvo stayed in all day, deciding to play NHL19 with a few friends on xbox. What he expected to be an uneventful evening turned out to be different when he heard knocking on his front door. He wasn't expecting anyone, no one had called him either. He walked over to the door, peeping into the hole to look who it was, all he saw was the side of a black sweatshirt.

 

“Who is it?” He asked through the wood.

 

“It's me.”

 

Teuvo's heart stopped. He immediately recognized that distinct nasally voice behind that door. He quickly unlatched the door and opened it. His heart caught in his throat, standing almost in awe in the yawning cage of his doorway. Blue eyes met with wide brown ones, both standing in complete silence. The air stood thick and heavy in Teuvo's lungs. He was too afraid to take a breath, feared that what he was seeing was just an apparition and if he made any movement, it would fade away in an instant.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

Teuvo let out a deep breath, it was real. He nodded and stepped aside for Sebastian to walk in, sucking all of the air from Teuvo's lungs once again as he floated past him. He stared at the familiar figure making its way into the living room, just like in the past. It was deja vu. The same black sweatshirt. The same tapered grey joggers he always wore with those white shoes he cleaned almost religiously. Topped with his signature black beanie that covered his most likely bed head, little brown tufts poking out from behind his ears underneath the fabric. It was all too familiar and it ached too much. Hopefully he wouldn't be here for long, because Teuvo couldn't handle it.

 

“What's up?” Teuvo asked as Sebastian took a seat in his regular spot on the couch.

 

Sebastian was quiet for a minute, thinking about something before he lifted his head up to meet Teuvo's eyes. His heart clenched.

 

_Don't look at me like that._

 

“I hate to ask you this but you're the only person I can go to this late...” He paused and sighed “Me and Ella had a fight and she kicked me out for the night and I don't wanna bother anyone right now because it's almost midnight. I won't bother you at all, and I can sleep on the couch.”

 

“Sepe don't act like we're strangers. You're always welcome here. You can stay the night, that's no problem.” Teuvo forced a smile. He was stupid for doing this, this was a danger zone. The man in the memories he's been trying to erase is back in the space those memories were made. But what else was he supposed to do? Let him call from teammate to teammate in the middle of the night, asking for a place to stay cause his girlfriend kicked him out? No. They were still “friends”. Nothing was going to change because he slept over on the couch for one night. It was just one night.

 

But one night was all it had to take.

 

It was awkward, but not to where it was insufferable. They talked a little, Sebastian told Teuvo what the fight was about. They popped a frozen pizza in the oven while Sebastian suggested they watched a movie. Teuvo agreed. It was nice, almost like old times. Except this time Sebastian was on the opposite end of the couch, leaned back with his feet propped up while eating pizza, instead of leaned against Teuvo's side underneath the large grey blanket they bought together because Sepe constantly complained there wasn't enough blankets in the apartment. The thought made Teuvo smile. If only that's how it still was...

 

Teuvo turned his head to look in Sebastian's direction, watching his wide brown eyes fixated on the screen. Admiring the way the low light from the lamp across the room accentuated his sharp features in the warm glow. The way he slumped completely into the couch, sweatshirt bunched up around his chin, wide collar swallowing his slender neck; the same neck Teuvo kissed and marked time after time. A territory he once mapped out expertly, now conquered by a new explorer.

 

How he wanted to just crawl over there and reclaim what was once his. Guide him unto his lap, hold his waist and kiss him senseless. Run his hands under his sweatshirt over his warm skin, slowly roll it up and off then tangle his fingers in that slippery brown hair, hearing him gasp as he arched his neck in pleasure. He wanted their mouths to connect and their tongues to fall into a slow, sensual rhythm as Teuvo guided them both down onto the cushions, pressing his body into the lean, muscular one beneath him, rolling and grinding.

 

How he wanted to hear those sweet moans, those strained whines and hitches of his breath as Teuvo grind against that perfect spot. Their kisses would go up a notch, bodies moving more frantically against each other as clothes would begin to shed like leaves in autumn, eventually becoming completely naked. Their bare skin would slide hotly against each other, sweat providing some ease of movement. Teuvo would handle Sebastian expertly, grabbing his throbbing length and stroking him as the brunet squirmed underneath, letting out hot strings of moan-like pants _“ah-ah-ah”._ It would lead from there, lube and condoms would always be at hand. Teuvo would enter him slowly, then building rhythm until he was pounding into him, stuttering over his words, dripping sweat, lungs burning, body tingling. The look on Sebastian's face as he came was next to heavenly. Eyes squeezed shut, mouth hung open, sweat running down his reddened face, glistening in the feeble light. Teuvo could live in those moments forever. If only forever wasn't just in his mind.

 

“-ka? Teukka?” He heard his name being called by that familiar voice again. Shit, he just spaced out completely and was daydreaming about _that._

 

“Yeah? I'm sorry I kinda spaced there. What's up?” He looked at Sebastian who was sitting up on the couch looking at him in somewhat concern.

 

“I'm getting another slice of pizza, I was gonna ask if you wanted me to get you one too.”

 

“No thanks. I'm good.” Sebastian nodded and stood up and walked to the kitchen.

 

Teuvo yawned and threw the blanket off his lap and stretched, then froze. He felt a tightness at the front of his sweatpants that set off alarms in his head. Fuck this was NOT a good time. Maybe he could just grab the blanket he just threw off and just let it go down on it's own. As he was getting up to grab the blanket he suddenly heard Sebastian gasp and his heart dropped.

 

“Fuck, um, I-I'm sorry.” Sebastian stuttered. Teuvo immediately stood up and looked towards him. The young Finn was looking away, eyebrows deeply furrowed as he diverted his eyes to something else to try and make the situation less awkward than it was.

 

“It's not what you think, I just kinda zoned out and-” Teuvo tried to explain but Sebastian stopped him by waving his hand and turning towards the kitchen.

 

“It's fine. I'm just gonna go eat in the kitchen.”

 

Fuck. Teuvo's chest tightened and his whole face went hot. He just fucked everything up. Nothing he could say was gonna make this situation even better. So he went to gathering together bedding for Sebastian to sleep on, grabbed a pair of shorts for him to wear from a clean laundry basket in the laundry room and placed it all on the couch as Sebastian sat at the bar eating silently.

 

“Your stuff is on the couch. Let me know if you need anything.”

 

“Thanks.” Sebastian answered back, not turning around from his seat.

 

Teuvo didn't answer as he made his way back into his bedroom and closed the door. The room was dark but he didn't bother to turn on a light as he made his way over to his bed, immediately collapsing on it. He felt bad for just leaving Sebastian in there like that but he couldn't show his face after that happened. That wasn't fair to his friend. He was in a good relationship now, him and Ella really cared for each other. Teuvo was stupid for still loving him, stupid for even thinking tonight would end well. He now looked like a stupid horny teenager still hung up on his ex. He was 24 for God's sake. Time to grow up.

 

After putting his phone on the charger Teuvo climbed under his covers and tried to fall asleep. After 30 minutes of tossing and turning that felt like hours, Teuvo froze still as he heard the door to his room open. A small sliver of light cast across the floor for a split second before it got swallowed up by darkness as the door closed. There was silence for a second after that before the unmistakable sound of footsteps made their way across the carpet to Teuvo's bed. He froze still, holding his breath, not wanting to open his eyes in fear that the person in the room wasn't who he thought it was. Suddenly there was a weight on the bed next to him. Then a voice.

 

“Teuvo.”

 

He let go of the breath. He opened his eyes and looked up at the silhouette figure next to him, undoubtedly Sebastian.

 

“Yeah?” He answered. There was silence. Sebastian shifted on the bed and Teuvo felt the mattress dip down next to his head. A heavy presence was felt above him and he looked up into the dark shadow looming over his body. Eyes barely visible reflected the small light misted in the the darkness of the room, they pierced into his own, stealing his breath.

 

“Sepe?”

 

Suddenly the shadow grew closer, closing in on his face. The glistening eyes disappeared and he felt Sebastian's torso drape over his own, pressing down firmly as he leaned closer. Teuvo's mind was blank, he had to be dreaming.

 

He felt breath on his face, heard the heavy breathing from flared nostrils and he knew he wasn't dreaming. And like a switch in his head, he became aware of the situation. Quickly he grabbed Sebastian's shoulder and pushed him back and Sebastian gasped. His heart raced. Thank god there was no light in here, he could hide the panicked look in his eyes, and hide from the unknown look in Sebastian's. He couldn't handle that.

 

“Sebastian what the fuck!” Teuvo heaved out, heart hammering in his chest. His arm began to shake, still grasping the brunet's shoulder. There was silence, only thing that could be heard was their panicked breathing and the ceiling fan gently creaking above. Teuvo searched in the dark, trying to find an expression on Sebastian's face, but only being met with darkness and those same wide eyes glistening faintly, staring right back at him.

 

Neither said a word for a minute before Sebastian shifted again, making Teuvo's arm fall from his shoulder. This time, Teuvo was frozen still as he felt one leg being slung over his own, then that oh so familiar weight on his hips, straddling him. Both arms came down beside his head and the blond once again looked up into darkness, seeing the outline of that long hair frame Sebastian's face. His body encased him like a cage, trapping him from any escape. Shutting down his body and mind.

 

“Sepe...what are you doing?” He could only whisper, his voice was stolen from him.

 

Time froze still and shrunk into one moment when Sebastian answered with a feeble voice, shaking and fragile like glass.

 

“I don't know...”

 

Then, time froze still. Teuvo's heart stopped and his limbs locked in place. His vision was blocked by darkness, leaving him only to feel. Feel the warmth of skin pressing against his own, feel the heavy weight on his chest, the unmistakable feeling of breath against his cheek. The gentle feeling of lips pressing against his own, pricking his skin like needles. The familiar yet unfamiliar sensation swarming underneath his skin, buzzing through his lips like electricity.

 

Three months.

 

Three months since he had felt those lips against his own, since he had felt any lips against his own. Three months came down and crashed on his heart and it felt like the breath was snatched right from his lungs. White noise took over Teuvo's brain before a powerful surge shocked through his body when he suddenly grabbed Sebastian's shoulders and pulled him closer against him, pressing his lips harder against the brunet's. Sebastian quickly reciprocated, adjusting his position to better slot his lips against Teuvo's own before opening them to press opened mouthed kisses against his mouth. Teuvo was quick to comply, opening his own mouth to find rhythm with Sepe's. Opening and closing, sharp breaths, wet saliva, sliding against each other.

 

Sebastian was gripping Tuevo's hair, slowly rolling his body against his, grinding his hips. Teuvo's body arching up against his, pressing them closer together. His heart raced, body feeling like it was floating. His mind was going numb, leaving all sense and reason out the window. Emotions and instinct took over. He was gone.

 

It escalated from there, shirts slid up hot bodies, exposing their chests to the cool air. Skin rubbed against skin, heat prickling underneath. Gripping and grabbing, mouths moving in unison, tongues wrestling, lips parting, gasping for breath. Bodies moved against each other, slotting perfectly and moving in conjunction, just like in the past, putting together the puzzle like nothing had ever happened. Memory overtook reason, a past person coming in to pull the strings. All sense of thought left a while ago. The line was drawing nearer.

 

Now naked, bodies exposed in the darkness surrounding them, touch the only communication. Curious hands wandering across familiar terrain. This was wrong, so wrong. They knew what was going to happen if they kept on, they knew the consequences waiting for them on the other side of that line. Regret, fear, heartache. They were stupid for thinking this would be okay.

 

But they continued. Continued like nobody was outside the walls surrounding them. Continued as the real world spun around outside. Continued like no one but them existed. No one knew of the two lovers, hearts broken and souls weak, arching against each other, calling each other's names. Sweaty skin, hot touches, moans of pleasure filling the thick air in the room, bouncing around the walls and back to their own ears. Their heartache was hidden, shrouded by a mistake, in temporary bliss, soon to be swept away like dust when reality returned again.

 

But it didn't stop them. It didn't stop Teuvo from grasping Sebastian's hips as he thrust up into him, it didn't stop the moans escaping the brunet's lips as he arched his neck in pleasure, gripping Teuvo's wrists as he cried out. It didn't stop them from realizing how much they both missed this, how much they missed making love every night, just them and the four walls of their bedroom, nothing but love and bliss. Now the same walls bled with fear, regret and heartache.

 

Teuvo's mind slowly came back down to earth as he came to a stop after their climax. He listened to the panting above him as Sebastian relaxed on his hips, to the hum of the AC as it circulated the hot air around the room. He felt shaking thighs against his own, felt the once warm thick liquid now cooling on his heaving stomach. He didn't want to speak, afraid he would crack and shatter the fragile world surrounding them.

 

A shaky sigh broke the monotone noise and Sebastian lifted off of his hips and Teuvo slid out, the blond laid still as he climbed off his body and sat on the side of the bed, hunched over. _Regret_. The word reverberated in Teuvo's mind, it stung his clenching heart. This was inevitable. They both fucked up. He knew. It hurt being someone's mistake. The silence was almost physical, wrapping around their necks and squeezing. They both knew what the other was thinking, but they couldn't say it.

 

Darkness still encased them until suddenly the air was pierced with a blue light from the bedside table, Sebastian's face lit up with the dim light and his expression went solemnly grim. Seeing Sebastian's face made the situation so real, but reality really struck when Teuvo looked over at the bedside table and saw the name lit up on the phone.

 

This wasn't a make believe world anymore. They hadn't transported to the past, this was now, this was real. They fucked up and had only each other to blame. Their weary hearts called out to each other and tangled into this mess they were stuck in now. No taking it back, no returns, no making it up. It was done.

 

So they both stared at the beacon of light piercing the darkness trying to swallow them in, back to their own world, away from heartache, from this fucked up situation they put themselves in. Back a blissful world of make believe, where they could pretend like nothing ever happened. Back to the beginning.

 

“You should answer that.” Teuvo whispered, deft pain laced in his voice.

 

Sebastian paused, eyes still fixated on the screen, a glistening trail rolling down his cheek.

 

“Yeah...I know” He sighed shakily, but didn't move.

 

The light suddenly disappeared and darkness consumed them once again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep. Sorry about that! 
> 
> Now that I've got that one out of the way I'm gonna be starting on more stories to hopefully get me through this off season! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed! Please please please let me know if you enjoyed this by leaving comments and Kudos! 
> 
> Until next time!!


End file.
